| Yesterday |
[Oct. 9th, 2005|02:38 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  chipper | ] |
| [ | tune |
| | Skye Sweetnam - Just The Way I Am | ] |
I had a talk with my sister today and she was actually mad that I chose to go to the movies alone today and not with you-know-who. I'm not going to rush things and besides I don't even know yet if he's interested, just gotta wait it out. Though what really did irritate me was while I was defending my going-out-to-treat-myself attitude with my sis on the phone, the guy who I bought the Flightplan movie ticket from charged me for two tickets assuming that I had a partner. Unless my invisible friend from 14 years ago re-manifested itself into physical form that day, I don't think I needed the extra ticket! No thank you, refund, yes please..
Oh Josh, I just got your voice mail at 2AM in the morning. I think it has to do with my "waking up" my phone and dialing something in it so that, upon "waking up" it starts receiving past msgs -- and it did.
In other news, I studied for my English midterm today, even while I was eating lunch at the downtown Japanese bar. Oh and about that bar, the Rock 'n' Roll roll is really good, almost like the crispy rolls back in Alameda's Sushi House. I would've eaten my meal more peacefully had a little girl who was seated to my right not kept looking at me.
Facebook me! |
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| Wrong Impression |
[Oct. 7th, 2005|11:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | tune |
| | Hilary Duff - Wake Up | ] |
One of my semi-busy days of the week was today. Had a meeting with the Pride Alliance today after classes to talk about the agenda for National Coming Out Day on October 11th. In addition to volunteering to man the GLBU booth with a few others for almost ALL of the shifts I also humbly volunteered to be part of a fellow club member's senior project (ongoing). I'll be at Veranda's Cafe towards the end of the day on October 11th as one of the representatives of the GLBU club and to answer questions on its behalf (hopefully one of the other officers will accompany me too). I've also allotted this Thursday, October 13th, for an opportunity to be a guest speaker for a Psychology Professor's class on human sexuality in order to answer questions on the topic of homosexuality (and to clear up that misconstrued rumor that being gay is merely a choice.)
I also came out to my sister this morning. "THAT'S WONDERFUL! NOW WE CAN TALK ABOUT GUYS", she said. I love her even more.
"I'm all one-dollar bills, gotta stop by the ATM soon haha."
"-at least you got money!" |
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| The Wild Honey Suckle |
[Oct. 6th, 2005|11:25 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  loved | ] |
| [ | tune |
| | The Cheetah Girls - I Wont Say I'm in Love | ] |
There have been so many things that I have neglected to write about since I quit FFXI. I have a new approach to life, a renewed confidence in myself, everything's just changed so fast. To bring you up-to-date I bulleted things that have happened since my last entry.
-quit ffxi
-came out to my mom
-came out/outted to my mom's side aunt, uncle, cousins, auntie Marianne (my god daughter's mom), Marianne's husband.
-elected vice president of Cal Poly GLBU
-managed to secure a place to live for my 3rd college year (a big problem over summer); the house I live in now is homey and is in a residential neighborhood.
-wore an afro wig during the freshman orientation (week before Cal Poly fall quarter began) and helped advertise the club (i'm morally obligated to)... I remember being noticed a lot for my fro which everyone thought was real and thought I was cute in (I wont forget that one girl saying she came over from the other side just to compliment me hah!)
-helped prepare the first meeting (open house) for GLBU
-On that same day I went to my first gay club downtown, and I must say I held my own on the dance floor.
-been more active in gay rights: sending mail and a phonecall to the governor schwarznegger's office.
-had a blast watching movies one night in my friend's dorm (he pointed the projector to the side of the building just to get some people confused!)
-met with two of my old professors last year and have been coordinating with one particularly (Professor Martin of my ethnic studies class) to promote GLBU events (fate has it we met at the bus stop last week)
-found out that calculus IV isnt as bad as it's cracked up to be
-have come to hate programming in 1's and 0's
-shared my coming out story with the club
..And that's it in a nutshell. I probably forgot a few things but since they havent come to mind right now they probably were small. Since I left FFXI my friendships with two acquaintances in the game have grown. Roy and Josh are the friends that I probably feel like I can talk to about anything. These past two months have been a rollercoaster as my life has rapidly changed.
My will to be active has been amplified -- as if I've been imbued with more confidence than I've had before. To be honest I'm slowly adapting the mentality of not caring of what other people think. I've become more of a risk taker. I've become more assertive with my actions. I've become more progressive. I've become more open to others. I've become more social. I've become more appreciative of myself. I've become comfortable with expressing my emotions. I've become more out-going. I've become more generous. I've become more responsible.
I've become vulnerable, once more.
The Wild Honey Suckle
Fair flower, that dost so comely grow,
Hid in this silent, dull retreat,
Untouched thy honeyed blossoms blow,
Unseen thy little branches greet;
...No roving foot shall crush thee here,
...No busy hand provoke a tear.
By Nature's self in white arrayed,
She bade thee shun the vulgar eye,
And planted here the guardian shade,
And sent soft waters murmuring by;
...Thus quietly thy summer goes,
...Thy days declining to repose.
Smit with those charms, that must decay,
I grieve to see your future doom;
They died--nor were those flowers more gay,
The flowers that did in Eden bloom;
...Unpitying frosts, and Autumn's power
...Shall leave no vestige of this flower.
From morning suns and evening dews
At first thy little being came:
If nothing once, you nothing lose,
For when you die you are the same;
...The space between, is but an hour,
...The frail duration of a flower.
- Philip Freneau (1752 - 1832) |
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| Automatic Happiness |
[Sep. 7th, 2004|10:48 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  curious | ] |
| [ | tune |
| | Utada Hikaru - Automatic | ] |
七回目のベルで
受話器を取った君
名前を言わなくても
声ですぐ分かってくれる
唇から自然と
こぼれ落ちるメロディー
でも言葉を失った瞬間が
一番幸せ
嫌なことがあった日も
君に会うと全部フッ飛んじゃうよ
君に会えない my rainy days
声を聞けば自動的に sun will shine
It's automatic
側にいるだけで
その目に見つめられるだけで
ドキドキ止まらない
(I don't know why)
Noとは言えない
I just can't help
It's automatic
抱きしめられると
君とparadiseにいるみたい
キラキラまぶしくて
(I don't know why)
目をつぶるとすぐ
I feel so good
It's automatic
あいまいな態度が
まだ不安にさせるから
こんなにほれてることは
もう少し秘密にしておくよ
やさしさがつらかった日も
いつも本当のことを言ってくれた
ひとりじゃ泣けない rainy days
指輪をさわれば
ほらね sun will shine
It's automatic
側にいるだけで
体中が熱くなってくる
ハラハラ隠せない
(I don't know why)
息さえ出来ない
I just can't help
It's automatic
アクセスしてみると
映る computer screen の中
チカチカしてる文字
(I don't know why)
手をあててみると
I feel so warm
It's automatic
側にいるだけで
愛しいなんて思わない
ただ必要なだけ
(I don't know why)
淋しいからじゃない
I just need you
ハートがいたいよ愛をわすれったから。貴方の声色をしんじってる。
きっと飯石ょうにあいます。 |
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